Screamer

I'm in a writing mood, but I don't know quite where to begin, or what exactly I want to write. I want to talk to her again, but I don't know, if I fold again now... alright.

Redefine self. When you want to talk to her, exercise instead, or do something productive. Turn this moping energy into something you can use to improve yourself, or something to improve the world around you. Alright? Let's make this into something positive.

There's laundry to deal with, for instance. You want to write something, so do that. You've got plenty of free time, so make some good out of it, and get stuff done that you've been meaning to do. This is supposed to be an inspirational post, I see.

Alright. Here's the situation. I've spent a sizable chunk of the past four and a half months moping about not being able to be with a girl I really want to be with. I need to stop doing this, but I couldn't do it on my own, so I asked her to block me. Unfortunately, while I'm fixated on her, I don't really notice other girls as much, or I'm afraid to try anything for fear that it'll damage my chances with girl 1. This is illogical as shit considering she clearly has no such compunctions, so... the situation needs to change, as right now it's quite strongly balanced against me.

I don't enjoy having the table stacked, and I especially don't like it when it's not in my favor.

So I'm going to use this setback positively. Make myself someone that she wants back, or someone that she'll wish that she had taken the chance with when she could.

I feel better. Just moping was killing me. Making this depressive energy work for me is something that I'm quite a fan of.

So let's get to it.

Let's make myself into a winner.

I'm out.
please don't stop the music